Your wedding day is one of the most meaningful and special moments of your life, so naturally you want to make it as memorable and beautiful as possible. For many couples, that means spending a lot of money on lavish venues and fancy services.
The average American wedding today costs around $33,000.* Ouch… that’s a LOT of dough to blow on a one-day event that you will be paying back for years to come, but I’ve got a secret… it doesn’t have to be that way!
My husband and I had a fairytale wedding in the tri-state area (in Northern New Jersey, the Average Wedding costs $62,000*) with over 100 guests, and we spent less than $6,800 ($2,600 out-of-pocket after cash gifts were deducted). You can too! How? Follow our “Wedding Day 10 Commandments”:
- Don’t spend what you don’t have.
- Don’t buy your dresses and tuxedos from a wedding outfitter.
- Don’t make a wedding registry.
- Don’t have a cocktail hour.
- Don’t hire a professional videographer or photographer.
- Don’t hire a band or DJ.
- Don’t buy a wedding cake.
- Don’t rent a limo.
- Don’t let others do what you can do yourself.
- Don’t lose sight of the real purpose of your wedding.
Ok….I know what you’re thinking; how can you leave out those things and still call it a wedding?!! It sounds shocking, but keep reading and I’ll explain.
Commandment#1: Don’t Spend What You Don’t Have
Don’t spend what you don’t have. This is probably the most important of my Wedding Day Commandments. There is no better way to add stress and tension to the life of a newly married couple than to have a looming wedding loan hanging over their heads for the next five years.
My advice: save, save, save for your big day, and don’t let your wedding day expenses exceed your in-pocket balance. It is simply NOT worth it!
Sure, you may have to sacrifice a few things, like that lovely ice sculpture you never knew you wanted, but your future married self will thank you for being frugal today.
I cannot tell you how many couples I know who made the mistake of spending more than they had. They racked up excessive credit card debt, all to pay for their special day, and then looked back and wondered if it all was truly worth it, as they struggled to afford their monthly payments. Be smart, spend smart.
If you can’t manage to negotiate a wedding venue down to a reasonable per person rate like we did (Rate decreased from $120/pp wedding price to $38/pp birthday price… more details below), try some of these alternatives:
- Churches
- County Parks
- Community/Cultural Centers
- Museums
- City Halls
- Estates
- Airbnb Rentals
- Summer Camps
Commandment #2: Don’t Buy Dresses and Tuxedos from a Wedding Outfitter
Wedding outfitters (David’s Bridal, etc.) know this is the most important day of your life, so they use that leverage to up-sell you a dress/suit/tux that you can easily buy for much less somewhere else. So let’s go through the list:
Bridesmaid dresses: let’s face it, a bridesmaid’s dress is just a dress. Find one you like online and pay a fraction of the cost. My bridesmaids were paying for their own dresses and I didn’t want them to spend a lot of money, so I picked out a nice knee-length dress on eBay and had my bridesmaids order their size.
It was a no-name Chinese-manufactured dress and cost $28. Don’t drive yourself crazy worrying about brands and quality. As long as it looks nice on the day, that’s all that matters. (And, if we’re being honest, very few bridesmaids re-wear their bridesmaid dress anyway because it is probably not their style. )
Shoes: is it really important that they are all identical? That’s up to you. As for me, I told my bridesmaids to just wear white open-toed shoes of their choice; buy them new if they wanted or use a pair they already owned. Done. As simple as that. No extra money needed. Your bridal party will thank you.
Tuxedos/suits: For less than the cost of a suit or tuxedo rental, my husband had his groomsmen order 3-piece suits off Alibaba Express from China at $69 each (including shipping), and had them altered to fit at a tailor for another $15. The groomsmen were excited to have a nice new suit out of the deal, not a tux taking up space in their closet, or a rental, which is money out the window. Matching white shoes were bought off eBay for $15.
The wedding dress: I’m only going to wear this dress once. Why pay for it for years to come?
I visited a few of the brand name wedding dress shops and tried on a few dresses I liked, but I could not justify the prices I was seeing. Instead, I found my dream dress at a humble little dress shop in downtown Newark, NJ. It wasn’t a fancy shop and there were no attendants waiting on me hand and foot, no. None of that. Just a no-frills, special-occasion dress shop that sold no-name prom and special occasion dresses.
Sure, the shopping experience didn’t make me feel like a princess, but I didn’t need that. What I needed was a nice dress at the right price, and that’s just what I got. A beautiful A-frame dress with embroidered lace trim and hand-sewn beadwork. It was love at first sight. And the price? $160. Best.Choice.Ever!
Commandment #3: Don’t Make a Wedding Registry
Am I crazy? Maybe so, but I didn’t want our apartment full of stuff I’m only going to use once (or never), and then put out for pennies at a yard sale. Instead, we opted to include a note on our wedding website stating that our guests’ presence was all we needed, but if they felt moved to give a gift, monetary gifts in place of items would be preferred.
We did create a very small and limited Amazon.com Wedding Registry, where the purchase of an e-gift card was an option.We included somestaple items that we knew we could use (ie: bedding, everyday dishes, etc.), so that the guests who really wanted to buy gifts had a chance to do so (seriously, some people REALLY love wedding-gift shopping and to deprive them of that joy would have been cruel).
Not having a huge gift registry at a big-box store resulted in more monetary gifts (we received a total of $4200), which helped us recoup 75% of our wedding expenses. We were given another $1300 in Visa and Amazon gift cards, along with all the items from our limited gift registry.
It was a win-win situation: our guests helped pay off our wedding, and we didn’t have a ton of stuff to clutter up our little starter apartment (a one-bedroom that we rented from my husband’s parents for $500/month) from day 1.
Commandment #4: Don’t have a Cocktail Hour:
Is alcohol important at a wedding? That’s up to you.
As for us, we don’t drink, so it was not something we wanted at our wedding. What we learned was that a large chunk of the cost-per-head at a wedding venue comes from the open bar and cocktail hour. Eliminate the open bar and cocktail hour, and you’ve just saved yourself a TON of money.
Instead, consider having an hors d’oeuvres hour. Our wedding venue wanted to charge an additional $35 per person for our cocktail hour to cover the bar and fancy finger foods. We opted out of this and asked if we could provide our own light refreshments instead.
Being a smaller family-run venue, they were gracious enough to let us do this, so we provided our own wraps, tea, bubbletea, “mocktails” and sushi, and we asked friends to serve everything. If you think this is an option that might work for you, I encourage you to note on your wedding invites that it is a non-alcoholic wedding, so guests are not disappointed when they arrive.
If serving alcohol is a must at your wedding, you also have the option of just arranging for a cashbar, where guests pay for their own beverages.
Commandment #5: Don’t Hire a Professional Videographer or Photographer
We all want those fairytale photographs of our special day, but is it worth the hefty price tag? In today’s market, professional wedding photo packages can cost anywhere from $1,200-$5,000 for “heirloom” quality prints and book binding…
Ask yourself this: How often do you pull out your parents’ wedding album? How often do you estimate you will pull out your own album ten years from now? Better yet, how often do you sit down to watch those homemade videos of your family when you were young? Once a year? Once a month?
I’m not saying you won’t refer back to it; I look at mine at least a couple of times a year, but I don’t need a $3,000 photo album to cherish my memories. Instead, we opted to hire a college photography student to capture our wedding. We paid $400 for his services, equipment rental, and an assistant, and they provided beautiful digital photographs (which I placed in my own album).
Again, it was a win-win situation. Our young photographer received exposure and experience to broaden his professional portfolio, and we received beautiful prints from a talented cameraman. True, it did require a bit more planning on our part than if we had hired a professional; we had to discuss our expectations with our photographer and what types of photos we wanted, as he did not have prior experience, but it was well worth it for our budget.
As for videography, we decided a simple home video would do, so we asked a couple of our close relatives and friends who were good with a camera to be in charge of recording our special day. Sure, it turned out a bit amateurish at moments, but they still managed to do a decent job, and knowing we would probably only be looking at the film once in a sentimental blue moon, it was all we needed.
There are now many wedding picture sharing apps. If you ask your attendees to download the app ahead of time, any picture taken during the time of the wedding will instantly be uploaded and shared. Each guest becomes a free wedding photographer!
It’s up to you to decide how important it is to have professional photos and videos of your wedding day. To some, it is VERY important and I respect that, but to many it probably isn’t as big a deal as some wedding planners make it out to be. Make a decision based on what you want, not what industry standards dictate.
Commandment #6: Don’t Hire a Band or DJ
There is no denying that bands are a real luxury and DJs can really get a party started for you, but do you actually need them? Not really. You can make do without if you want. In our case, we compiled a playlist of popular wedding songs in advance, and that provided the musical accompaniment during dinner and dancing.
One of our groomsmen was tasked with the job of being the MC for the evening, eliminating the need for a DJ. Of course, no prerecorded music track can ever replace the elegance of live music.
Therefore, during our wedding procession and dinner, we hired a college music student from our local church who was skilled in classical guitar. He performed the music for our wedding procession and some light background jazz during dinner.
Once again, win-win. We provided a talented young artist a good gig and work experience for his resume, and we offered him $150 for his time -nice pocket change for him, and a nice price tag for our wedding budget.
Commandment #7: Don’t Buy a Wedding Cake
During the entire wedding planning process, I simply could not wrap my mind around spending upward of $500 on some dolled-up flour and sugar that everyone was going to consume in a matter of minutes during our reception. It felt like I was going to be shoveling money down my guests’ throats. I couldn’t do it, and half the guests probably wouldn’t even eat the wedding cake anyway, because of dietary restrictions.
Our solution? Simple…we bought one $30 tabletop fancy cake that we cut ceremoniously during the cake-cutting segment of the reception, and for all the guests we ordered two Costco sheet cakes that we decorated ourselves and sliced in advance. We packed the cake slices in fancy wedding favor boxes and put them out ahead of time at each guest’s table setting.
It was then up to them if they wanted to take the cake home as a wedding favor, or if they wanted to eat it at the actual reception. Our wedding cake favors were a huge hit. The guests loved the fancy wrapping and the option of taking it home with them, and we bypassed the expensive cake and our venue’s $3-per-person cut-and-serve charge. In total, we spent $78 on our cake and cake boxes; we would have spent $500 for a wedding cake and $300 for the venue to cut and serve it. This was a savings of $722.
A side note: try negotiating with your venue to see if you can get a less expensive meal plan. The difference in pricing is astounding! A wedding meal plan at our venue is $135 per person. A corporate meal plan is $38 per person. We were able to negotiate a corporate party meal package instead of a wedding meal package because we were eliminating all the major wedding extras (cocktail hour, open bar, hors d’oeuvres and cake). $10,000 in savings!
In addition, the corporate meal package provided an after-dinner coffee/tea and apple strudel a la mode for dessert – a feature not included with the wedding meal plan option. With dessert provided, the cake did not have to be a necessary part of the dessert menu anyway, allowing us the flexibility to be creative with our wedding cake favor boxes.
Unconventional? Yes! But creative and classy nonetheless. (Pssst…we didn’t tell the guests it was Costco sheetcake, that’s our little secret).
Commandment #8: Don’t Rent a Limo
Why? Because you DON’T need one. Period. Especially if you are having a non-alcoholic wedding. Enough said.
Commandment #9: Don’t Let Others Do What You Can Do Yourself
A wedding planner is great if you can afford one, but if not, or if you’d rather be a little more hands on in the planning and preparation of your big day, you don’t need to hire one. I didn’t, and honestly I’m glad I didn’t. So much of the fun and excitement of planning for a wedding is in all the little crafty details you can only experience if you plan it yourself.
Making table centerpieces, putting together the wedding favors, decorating the ceremony gazebo and arranging the bridal bouquets were great wedding preparation activities I got to share with my bridesmaids. It brought us closer together, provided moments and memories together that we will all cherish for years to come, and allowed us to truly own our wedding day design. If I had to do it all again, I would do it the same way.
Commandment#10: Don’t Lose Sight of the Real Purpose of Your Wedding
I am going to end with this last point: no matter what, don’t lose sight of the real purpose of your wedding.
It is not about keeping up with the Joneses, or having a Hollywood-worthy reception, or even about pleasing your guests. It’s about you and your special someone, committing your lives to one another, for better or worse, for the rest of your life and into eternity.
Your wedding is a sacred day, an intimate moment that you are choosing to share with your family and close friends. Your guests are not coming to attend a party, they are coming to support you in the biggest step you will ever take. Ten years from now, no one will care how much money you spent or how fancy your wedding was.
They will only remember the beauty of that special moment, when two individuals chose to become one and walk side-by-side on the road of life. That is what they will remember, and that is all you need to be concerned with. All the rest? It’s just fun.
Don’t lose sight of what truly matters, and take a moment to breathe and appreciate how far you have come. After all, this is YOUR day. You deserve to feel special. Congratulations, and Godspeed!
Cost Breakdown
Reception/Ceremony
Cost for Venue/Food (105ppl) $3,990.00
Outdoor Ceremony $350.00
Gratuity $598.50
Tax $308.75
Food
2x Costco Sheet Cake $36.00
Representative Wedding Cake $30.00
Bagels for Wedding Helpers $20.00
100x Edible Printed Sunflowers $14.00
6lbs Chocolate Sunflower Seeds $27.54
Sparkling Grape Juice $80.00
Cookies $40.00
Bubble Tea Supplies $100.00
Clothing
Wedding Dress $168.00
Wedding Veil $39.00
3-Piece White Suit $65.00
White Shoes $15.00
White Tie $3.00
6x Bridesmaids Gift (Homemade)$72.00
6x Groomsmen Gift (Gold Ties) $18.00
Entertainment/Services
Photographer $360.00
Musician (Classical Guitarist) $200.00
Officiator $100.00
Nails $30.00
Hair/Make-up (Bridesmaids) $0.00
DJ/Emcee (Brother) $0.00
Videographer (Uncle/Friend) $0.00
Stationary/Other
Postage $42.00
100x Wedding Invitations $8.00
100x Save The Date PostCards $11.72
Wax Seal $20.00
Faux Sealing Wax $10.00
100x Chocolate Seed Tins $80.00
Paper Cake Gift-Boxes $20.00
Flowers (48x Sunflowers) $180.00
Marriage License $40.00
Total $6,794.51
Cash/Gift-Cards Received $4,200.00
Total Out of Pocket $2,594.51
*https://www.businessinsider.com/average-wedding-cost-in-america-most-expensive-2018-3#3-new-york-long-island-61113-23
2 thoughts on “Our Dream Wedding Cost Only $2,600: 10 Tips for How Yours Can, Too!”
Being a frugal and creative person I really enjoyed all aspects of how you did your wedding. Congratulations!
Thanks, we really enjoy being creatively frugal too, my Wife and I make a game of it.